Oliver Twistys Diary

I´m writing my blog and I get an erection. When I finish my blog post, I have to go to the bathroom to jerk off. Oh fuck, that´s truth what I didn´t believe before. My 16.5 cm cock has shrunk at least two centimeters. Fuck. Nice. How is that possible?

What the fuck? I haven´t scummed in three months. Is that so fucking much?Then I start calculating. The Finnish winter. The temperature, it can be 20 to 30 degrees below zero. I haven´t drunk in three months either. What is the fuck? I want to know. But before the plan I go to the local bar.

Then I go to a bar owned by a beautiful Vietnamese. Isn’t there some conservative Englishman sitting there? O h Yep. God save the king. But for me God save the queen. Rest of my life. Talk goes like this.: “When have you seen your mother boy?” “Thank god. She is dead”. The english fart is humming and I get angry. Very very angry. Then I shout to him: ” Fuck you I will join to IRA!”.

I want to change the bar and so leave for the Pub Paris. I sit there alone in my time and what happens? OMG that woman with wicked breasts walks in.
I wait for her return from the bar counter and see an opportunity to invite her to my side

Oh yep there she came to sit down to right place near me. And so the porter also came to the scene and immediately demanded money. I gave him 50 euro to pay me and Isabella. Of course porter doesn´t have change. Isabella put me in a bit of a better mood though and I hug her because I want to feel those huge tits.

Some time after we talked Isabella asks if I want to have sex with her. Damn what a sexy blonde with huge tits, but I remember the state of my cock: “Oh fuck baby I´m so sorry but something weird has happened to me”. “My cock is shrunken at least 2 cm. Isabella is not a little girl and I feel impotence to satisfy her. I refuse the offer, but I offer her a drink.

I decide to go home and on the way home I remember that the damn porter forgot to give the change. Fuck, nice. That´s so fucking nice. I go to shop to buy something small to eat. And what the fuck one of the staff ask me to open my backpack as if I had stolen something. Fuck, nice.

I´m walking home and I´m met by a dog that seems interested. All right come on boy piss on the feet. But a miracle happened, he was happy and wanted to make friends. God damn I was happy also. Finally something positive for today.

At home I go to pee first. Then I noticed something what I have had always. Pubic fat has grown at least a centimeter, if not even a couple. I squeeze it in a great disgust. Yak. Fuck, nice. I´ve wondered about the pubic area before and I remember the explanation that fat cells appear during puberty and cannot be influenced because they are genetic. Yes, but why did I see so much fat. My God why did you turn me into a polar bear.

And that was not all. My cock has been also curvy last times I´ve wanked. I google curvy cock and get an explanation, Morbus Pyeronie. I´m not sure about that because I haven´t had any pain at all. Could the erection be just that powerful or strong? I don´t know but I want those two lost centimeters back.

I calculate that the curve takes maybe half a centimeter. I can get help with that by ordering a vacuum pump. But how much pubic fat can be removed from me? Three centimeters? Wow, that´s all together 3.5 centimeters plus. I will get 18 centimeters cock if everything goes well. Great. Yes god exists and god save the both king and queen.

Im watching news read by a woman known for her relationships with black men. Wow, Im very very happy. Could a man feel any happier. Feminism is on the rise and they have a principle for everything like Larry Flynt: “I have a right”. What is a man´s right? To work work work, to wank wank wank, to do endles one hand clapping. But would a man have the right to even dump if the women decided? To wank? No way. To dump thats our right. Wow Im happy.

I try to do my blog but what the hell my connection is too slow. All right little bastards are making their magic things. Hackers, game freaks same shit for me I have paid my internet connection which doesnt work. I make a decission to go to library where I will get a new ip adress. God damn Im happy.

I walk and take a subway, fuck I dont own a car the magic minge magnet. I am happy walking is good for your health. Someone has made suicide by jumping under the train at the subway station. There are a lot of people and rescue personnel. Luckily that marty jumped under the train going in the opposite direction. Im happy.

Then I decide to go to the store to buy a couple of bananas. Despite the long anti-goverment strikes we have bananas. Im happy. Before I get to pay I see and hear something typical. A little boy cries when his mother doesn´t buy him a lollipop. The woman is not poor but a bourgeois who looks rich and says to the boy: “Boys don`t like sweets and sweets destroy your teeth”. Fuck nice.

Immediately after I have paid, I take a bite of the banana. An unknown mummy mutters angrily as if I have done something bad, typical. Then comes a group of four young boys walking after a lone guy and they scream to him: “Hey mother fucker! Fucking faggot! We will cut your joy bone you fucking joy boy! I stop the boys and ask them what the fuck, was that for me? The boys startle and quickly walk in the other direction.

When I get to the library, ofcourse I have to pee. Just when I`ve drained the last drops, I hear somethin familiar: “Fuck nice”. Its Onslow dumping something super dangerous for breathing. The smell of shit is so so superior that i got the feeling to spew. Onslow puts the Donald Duck away and says: “Cheers Oliver! I heard you have problems with girls and internet, but don`t mind life is a shitty thing”. I answer almost in tears for a long time: “Oh thanks, you are sometimes best in my life what has happened”.

I finish my blog work in the library and decide to read the day`s afternoon papers and what the hell? THE FUCKING CONSERVATIVE GOVERMENT. What they have done again. Hospitals are closed, the poorest pensioners living abroad are deprived of their national pension, young high school students will be charged more etc etc ignoring about consequences. Savings as reasons but the savings are absolutely negligible. These action only cause great trouble and harm to large and poor groups of people. Fuck how happy I am.

Enough is enough now, I make a decission to go Kontula the place where is the sin. I mean drugs cause sex I haven`t seen there never and I have visited there over twelve years. I go to bar called Kippari and I found there lot of black people and also one my negro friend called same as I Oliver. Fuck thats nice. Then there come a gypsy man whos name I don`t never remember but he is good friend of mine.

Suprise suprise we drink beer and black Oliver has some bud and gypsy some valium. Perfect combination. I was so happy that god made me right here.

Fuck this is a place where the sun doesnt shine. I am working and this should be a place where the sun should shine but it doesnt. Fuck. A stick and another and walking through the forest to the side of the road. Just put all the sticks in the same pile. Sun hello where are you?

Then it’s time for a break. Who the hell would start work hard. I sat on the moss rot and remember an easy game brunette when I was a waiter in a catering restaurants. Fuck that time was full of minge. Then it came my friend the sun and so I immersed myself in the memoirs.

I said to minx: “Dont play with me i know u want sex. You have so nasty bum.” And i stuck her delicious bum and looked straight to her eyes. She was a little bit frighten but a little smile told me what to do. I kiss her gentley and squeeze her bum.

We kiss more and the hands go around the body. I take her hand and lead her to the dressing room. Damn work time ended just in time. We kiss more and i guide the girl`s hand to my stiff cock. I open my trousers and pull my panties down and my cock, in full party condition, pops out and the girl`s hand gets hot. She goes down and takes my hard cock in her mouth and sucks it greedily. I´m like drugged.

I open the girl´s blouse and the girl throws the shirt away and opens the bra, the perfect firm breasts of young woman are revealed. I start to suck the girl´s tits while caressing that perfect butt. Dress and panties off. I stick my tongue to her wet wet muff and I start diving it. I gradually move up towards the clitoris, opening the external genitals and at the same time I squeeze that delicious bum properly. This goes on for a while and the girl moans in heat.

I take off my trousers, pants and shirt and go down on my back. The minx come on me, oh my god how tight minge catch the dick and start riding. I´m sensitive and guide the girl to slow down a bit. After a little while I sit up and take the breasts again for processing. That goes on for a while we get hot as hell. Finally the minx gets a little orgasm. As if guessing my thoughts, the minx goes to doggy style.

I don´t go all the way in, but I do good with my knob to the external part of the pussy. The girl gets very angry and swears:”I kill u if u don´t stop, come in and fuck me and don´t play. Then full fucking starts from behind. First slow thrusts and leave few part of the cock unused and finally all in. I grab the breasts and squeeze as if drugged. Then I start steady rhythmic pumping and the girl moans with happiness and heat.

I squeeze the girl´s butt and pump and pump until I feel strong contractions and go deep and try to last and last. Finally, when the girl’s orgasm ends, I start pumping for real and it won’t be long before there’s a rush of cum when I come inside and I feel like being in heaven.

When we start to put on clothes we realize we did´t use a lifejacket. It´s nothing, the girl says, I´m not having those good days right now. If I get pregnant I’ll catch you and then we’ll get married. Ok, I’ll say it and I’ll give her a kiss when I leave.

After work I have to get on twitter. I head to the library where there are usually free computers and an internet connection. On the way to the library I see something typical. Camel toe. Those young girls are dirty. Every spring the same thing, camel toe and bum trousers on. You can catch a stick in the eye if the chick is young.

I have several twitter accounts because twitter has tried to block my sharpening. With the new account sharpening is usually working for a while. Today it´s time to open a new account again. First I open a new gmail account and then twitter but now I change the name and don’t give any previous information.

I do the normal account opening procedures, follow Bill Gates and etc. Then I surf a bit here and there. Childporn, violence, terrorist videos etc. yak. Shit, thats super shit. I tweet twice, one youtube video: Gigliola Cinquetti, Alle Porte Del Sole https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5IspI1hbbiA and scantily clad babe picture. Then I try to check my sharpening, but what the fuck no way. Not published.

How that´s possible? How the fuck? Why? This is fucking dicrimination even persecution. Let´s breathe for a minute and think before I expolode and destroy the whole computer. The Twitter bot must have followed me, but when I’m on the library computer and I didn’t give any old information I don´t understand. HOW? FUCK!!!

Im very angry and going back home. I watch tv news but nothing interests me. I try to sleep but I can´t, I got just paranoid feelings. Then I get the idea to make a criminal complaint. I make it. Done. Now I´m at war with Twitter. Later I try to check my tweets in Twitter but nothing changed.

In the morning I´m already dizzy with thoughts. I try to go to work but I´m upset. At the subway station I start to rage at people:”Everyone of you should be killed you motherfucking assholes”. People dodge past me and I´m angry and aggressive. Finally when people are already starting to panic I stopped to sit down to think again:” What the fuck?”.

I can clear my thoughts that much that I realize that I am not able to work. Even thouhg my job is just to carry the sticks. I listen to music on my cell phone for a while and decide to go to the health center. I still check my twitter account. Shit. Nothing changed. I got a rage and scream alloverwhere: “TWITTER THE SUPER SHITBURGER SUPREME!!!

I got an appointment with a nurse at the health center. I´m just trying get her to ask a doctor for a consultation about sleeping pills. However, the nurse inquires more about my mental state and decides to ask the doctor for an acute appointment. The doctor makes the same almost identical inquiry and writes a referral to hospital with acute psychiatry.

On the way to the hospital, I´ll have a couple of beers. Damn it did make my feeling better. Finally, when I get to the hospital, some fucking psychological game begins. Wait, wait, wait, nurse comes and asks something. Then it´s my turn. It was about time because aggressions could have arisen.

Three women, two doctors and one student. Wow. All typical doctor aunts. One fuckable milf with big cans. Then the telling of my life history begins. I openly talk about my acute situation and aggressions and delusions and fucking TWITTER. I will also tell about my friend Onslow. Also, about telepathic connection with people, especially for TV journalists. About the music that hear in my head that sometimes doesn´t seem to end and about an earlier aggression scene where I killed a ghost at my door with a knife.

And that was it. I was asked to wait and that´s where the white-jacketed ride boys came. Now we were on our way to a mental hospital. And even forced treatment with a referral. On the way boys asked if this was the first time. I answered:”No, I have been in the hospital a couple of times myself”. Fucking Twitter this time.